As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10:38-42
Culturally, Martha was right to try to get Mary back into the kitchen. The kitchen isn’t mentioned, but we can assume that’s where Martha was because there was a crowd with Jesus and she was “making preparations.” Where else would a host make preparations after a crowd has arrived? At that point, the house is clean, the people have been welcomed, and the people are mingling.
When Jesus spoke, Mary wanted to listen.
Culturally, Mary belonged in the kitchen. Things varied in different places in the Roman Empire, but in Jerusalem and the surrounding areas, women were to be hidden. They were to be silent, making sure the men were comfortable, cooking the food, caring for children. They were not to be mingling with the men. To do so would have discredited Jesus’s ministry, let alone brought disgrace upon Lazarus’s house (we learn elsewhere that these three were siblings living together, and in those days, the home would have belonged to the man of the house).
Martha was trying to protect Jesus and His ministry by requesting that Mary step away from the men. Many people have said that Martha didn’t understand what Mary was doing, but I think Martha truly had good intentions in mind.
Jesus said no. Mary had chosen “what is better.”
Martha didn’t stop to ask what Jesus meant by “what is better.” Martha was worried, we’re told that in Jesus’s answer, and in that worry, she was trying to control the situation. Worry and control typically stem from insecurity. Jesus saw that in her.
Women need two things: to feel loved and safe.
Mary thought she could find that by living quietly within her cultural preset. Mary found that in Jesus. Martha’s heart was in the right place, but she missed it. Mary forsake the dictation of her culture and instead knew she could find safety and love at the feet of Jesus.
In a world that throws arrows at women daily, we won’t find our security in cultural norms. Look at the headlines – the media blames women for everything it possible can. When men do things wrong, the media finds some sort of mental illness to blames things on, but women are blamed simply because we’re women. Mary stepped away from that.
If we continue to be the way the world tells us to be, we will be like Martha – “worried and upset about many things.” Only in Jesus can we truly be safe and loved.