“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12
My pastor is going through a series right now on things that sound spiritual, but that are not in the Bible. One that he won’t touch is “it takes a village to raise a child.”
I work in public education and I hear that phrase a lot. As teachers, we’re told that we are a part of “the village” raising these kids. Sounds like a good idea, right? But it’s completely against what God teaches about raising children. “The village” phrase is an ancient African proverb popularized by Hillary Clinton in the 1990s. African proverbs tend to be moral lessons passed down through tradition, not originating from Holy Spirit-inspired Scripture.
The Bible makes it clear that parents, not the community, are responsible for raising children. The most detailed example of this from the New Testament is in 2 Timothy 1:5: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” The Apostle Paul then goes on to encourage Timothy in his faith, which is the true role of the village. Timothy was raised by his mother, was educated by his mother, and then encouraged by the people around him. But the ultimate responsibility of Timothy when he was young lies with his mother.
We see many verses about fathers relating to children as well, but never once is the community, or people group, responsible for raising children. Even for Jesus, the synagogue was not responsible for His upbringing – we see that when His parents panicked when he disappeared at age 12 (Luke 2: 41-52). If the village were responsible, His parents would not have been so worried.
For us today, this means that parents need to partner with the schools when it comes to education. I’ve heard people use this argument as a justification for homeschooling, and that’s great, but I am not in a position where I can do that. So, I am as involved in my boys’ education as I can be. In elementary, I made it a point to talk to the teachers, especially at the beginning of the year. Now in high school, it means that every night at dinner, we discuss the happenings of the day. (Yes, we still eat dinner as a family, even if we only have ten minutes before they need to be driven the evening activities.) As they get older, the onus of homework lies on them, but I still know what they’re learning because we talk about it every day. My boys are my responsibility; their success does not rest on the schools or our church.